Choices.

OMG! Would you believe it - Jordan Lee has just asked me out! He is so gorgeous. He's a bit of a hippy. He comes in from one of the villages out of town and has this really sexy hair that's all touselled and this fabulous dimple when he smiles that makes my tummy do backflips. Wow! Am I the luckiest girl ever? You see - I knew there was nothing wrong with me really.

Of course, Arlette was soooooo jealous. She was all: `Ugh! Madge - he is so gross. How can you even think about going out with him?'

`What do you mean, gross?' The cheek of it! Just 'cos she's going out with someone who's practically still in nappies - well, Year 10, anyway. `I think he's really book.'

`But he's... he's ...dirty!' she said.

I was, like: `Durr! He's into organic vegetables and stuff. All earthy people are a bit grubby.'

`Your stepmother isn't and she's earthy,' Arl replied. `And I thought you didn't like earthy people after your stint on the farm last year?'

OK - she may have a point there - but Jordan is really cool and really gorgeous and ... although now I come to think of it, he can be a bit pungent sometimes. And actually, his fashion sense is so last century. And he does talk about crop rotation and harvesting and animal husbandry and stuff. (I didn't even know animals got married, let alone called each other husband and wife!)

So now I have a huge dilemma - do I go out with him because:

a) he's a nature lover and kind and gentle

b) he's veeeeeeeery good looking - and,

c) let's face it, if you smell of manure all the time, the aroma of a little baby-sick, isn't going to worry you too much is it?

Or, do I stay a single saddo for the rest of my life?